25. Choices to make in our suffering
Sometimes, eventually after the grief, we may be able to choose something cheerful when we once again have a sliver of bright daylight in view. We can fill that space with sense of serenity and peace and feel it grow within us. It is misery which keeps us in the pit of despair, where no light shines in. It is difficult to live in the dark. There, in darkness, minds are constantly agitating away about our disappointment. So cheerfulness and happiness are necessary and worth the effort to grow. A state of happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere whole heartedly, in a forward direction, without regret or reservation, even when the gift that was taken away from us is never restored. God helps us in the healing over the loss and disappointment and into the happiness again and that is a renewed gift. He will grant us that new gift, if we ask.
When depression occurs it is a state of disorder, essentially a state of inability to rise up. There is a compulsion to stay bent and bowed with no direction, full of regrets and great pain about the past, unable to move forward. That is the time to wait on the Lord and to rest in the palm of His hand, and to cry “Help” until He brings the piece of daylight once more into our heart.
We can maximize our chances, by getting about, relaxing with friends, and enjoying new experiences. We can grow positive thoughts, smile when you do not feel like it, thereby growing better instincts on how to make good decisions and to discard the foreboding thoughts. We can be optimistic and persist in the face of failure, interacting with other people with a sunny disposition, and become self fulfilling. Thinking of something worse than your own troubles, is a good skill, and turning sad events into something good is helpful. Everyone needs to feel special and know that we are special in God’s eyes. Most of the faithful did not see any reversals of their ill fortune in great encounters with God, not like Job. Rather the worthies felt God’s approval of them, that they were special, and that was enough for them. In their flesh they did see God, and appreciating the promises He made to them, they knew that they would be, in the future, fulfilled.
We are hard wired in health to want to live, and we do pray for the lives of others as well. But if God has not "looked away", nor has He failed to "keep up" with us, then He knows and sees all. Our prayers are our acknowledgments of His presence and His Wisdom. We are clearly unqualified to put into perspective His wisdom, but we still want it, to see it more clearly for ourselves. God understands our lack of ability to understand His wisdom and He knows that we suffer deeply when life is threatened, or taken. He also knows that we are all in degrees of understanding in regard to the His faithful ones who are early taken in death, and that some of us are more accepting, and others less accepting. Prayer is a wonderful relief, and to put oneself in the palm of God’s hand with importuning can always bring God into the pit of despair, when He will consider His servants, as He did Job. He can remove the thorn, or bestow mighty blessings, if He will. All is possible with Him, depending on the larger perspective. And God does change His mind depending on His plan for us. So we can say, “if the Lord wills” and keep importuning.
It is so important to keep the positive always before us. We should try every day, all day. However it will still be beneficial when circumstances set us in the negative, that we know how far we can go, still fully appreciating the closeness of God, even in His apparent silence. Those released from the torture chamber assure us that it is possible. It is so difficult to keep in His hand when it appears that His hand is closed against us. We might be tempted to wonder whether there is a catch in the good when it comes, so that, contrariwise, we are led to think that God is only in the bad. We wonder perhaps if the shadows reflect Him better. People, who live longtime in torment with torture, need to have a hope of the open hand, otherwise there is so little reason to exist. Disappointment is in itself a flag that we that we have a hunger for something different, and it is that hope we hang onto. It is in that hope that God sends healing for us and then the choices we make for God will see us continue in understanding away from our previous misunderstanding. Understanding helps in the choices we make in suffering towards healing, for we know God exists. He will save us.
