… the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.                        (1 Corinthians 11:3)

… between the sexes, the male is by nature superior and the female inferior, the male ruler and the female subject.

                                                           (Aristotle, Politics 1254b)

Of all the creatures that have life and reason,

We women are the most unhappy kind:

First we must throw our money to the wind

To buy a husband; and what’s worse, we have to

Accept him as the master of our body.

Then comes the question that decides our lives:

Is the master good or bad?

(Medea’s address to the Chorus of Corinthian Women,

Euripides, Medea, lines 230-235)

When Jesus and Paul preached, they spoke in a fallen society to which they brought the message of salvation, a message which transformed all human relationships.

They worked in a world where women were ‘second class citizens’, with fewer rights than men (religious or civil), and the results of their teaching and attitudes were to raise women to a standard never before equalled, and rarely since.

The same applied to other measures of discrimination. Slaves were not second class citizens; they were not citizens at all. Gentiles, from a Jewish perspective, were of no account to God. But the New Covenant included and embraced all three disadvantaged sections, so that Paul could write to the Galatians:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.                                                                                                                      (Galatians 3:28)

This sounds fine as an ideal. But how is it applied in practice?

When Paul wrote to the churches, he had to interact with the society that already existed. Slavery was an established system; the economy was based on it. Paul acted in the only way possible for his time: he accepted it but modified it, not only diminishing the harshness that could exist but asking, in effect, that masters should accept an equality before God: they too had a master in heaven.

…knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with him.                                    (Ephesians 6:9)

Paul’s teaching on marriage in 1 Corinthians

Paul did the same as regards marriage. Men were in charge of women. Under Roman law (extended throughout the Empire in Paul’s time) women had certain rights, but basically were ruled by male guardians: fathers when young, then husbands. The man was head of the wife. This could lead to abuse: “Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.” So, what did Paul do? He did the same with marriage as with slavery. He modified the prevailing attitude so as to bring Christlike behaviour into the picture.

In 1 Corinthians 11 he starts with the husband, and reminds him that he does not have absolute control. As a believer, he looks to Christ, and so takes the Messiah’s standards as his. Having put the husband under the constraints imposed on him by the love of Christ, he reminds the wife that she is under the control of her husband. But it is a husband who now has a new, Christlike outlook. And if husband and wife both don’t like the idea of being under the authority of another, Paul reminds them that Jesus is also under authority, that of God.

In the ecclesia in Corinth both the wife and the husband are able to take an active part in the meetings of the ecclesia. The wife can prophesy and pray, just as can her husband. This is the practical working out of their new freedom in Christ, but from a worldly point of view this might be seen as insubordination on the wife’s part. Paul reminds them that they each, in the way they behave, need to be seen to be showing respect. She has to take care in her demeanour, as does he, in relation to customs of dress and propriety.

Though describing the head of the wife as the husband, Paul is keen not to encourage the husband to rule over his wife. Hence he modifies the concept when he says:

Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.                                     (1 Corinthians 11:11-12)

The important phrase “in the Lord” is going back to God’s original intention in creation as seen in Genesis where the woman is to be a helper suitable for the man – a partner, not someone to rule over him, nor to be ruled over.

Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians

In Ephesians we can see Paul using the same procedure we have outlined above.

The husband is head of the wife, and Paul modifies it in two ways.

The section starts with mutual submission:

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

He then teaches that wives are to be submissive to husbands, using the term “head” again. If this were all Paul said, we might conclude that he endorses the common view (as that of Aristotle) that men rule their wives and the wives have to do as they are told. That’s what a boss, a chief, the head of an organisation does.

Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife …

 But when we read on, we find that Paul has again turned the position round by qualifying what he means by head:

For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.                                                                                                                    (Ephesians 5:22-24)

The husband is head “as Christ is the head of the church”. Christ’s way shows the kind of head he should be, and Paul specifies this in the next few verses. He is a servant-leader, who gives himself for others. Christ nourishes and cherishes the church and that is how a husband is to love his wife.

This means that the husband must serve his wife in every way possible, from helping in the house, to encouraging high spiritual standards in the family. He will encourage his wife and children to understand the Gospel and to put it into practice.

No one disagrees with this. It is clearly expressed. But people frequently draw a further conclusion that in marriage the husband must always take the lead. He should make all the decisions (well, all the decisions that matter), and his wife submits to his leadership.

 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.                                                           (Ephesians 5:24)

Implications of Paul’s Teaching

The Internet abounds with evangelical sites which assert that God’s plan for marriage and society and the church is this: the husband rules (in a positive, spiritual manner); the wife plays a secondary place, helps him, and submits to his leadership.

This is an easy deduction to draw from Ephesians 5:21-33, especially as Jesus, as head of the church, is leader not only as a servant but guide and moral teacher.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.                                                                   (Ephesians 5:25-28)

But is it correct to make such a deduction? Other considerations lead us to think that there is much more to be said. And these do not arise out of humanism or modern ideas of equality but from the Bible teaching itself.

Does the Bible teach that men should always lead in society, in marriage, in the church?

We suggest not.

“Be subject to one another”

Consider Ephesians where Paul describes Christian behaviour. His instructions refer to all brothers and sisters. Jesus is an example and pattern to us all, not just to husbands. We are all called to develop and promote spiritual understanding:

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.                                    (Ephesians 5:2)

… walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

(Ephesians 5:8-10)

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father.

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:17-21)

This is written to both brothers and sisters (“saints” Ephesians 1:1). There is mutual spiritual encouragement, “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs”, and mutual submission within the ecclesia, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ”. This does not suggest that it is a one-way process: men teach and lead, women listen and learn.

Nor is it the case with marriage:

For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.

Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.   (1 Corinthians 7:4-5)

Although this clearly refers to sex, it also refers to prayer, and, importantly, to “agreement”. The couple discuss their plans together: it is not a matter of either telling the other what to do.

Paul also discusses the position of believers married to unbelievers.

... the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband.

Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?    (1 Corinthians 7:14, 16)

Submissive behaviour and active participation

Peter does the same as Paul, calling on everybody to be submissive:

Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution. (1 Peter 2:13)

He then moves on to slaves, then to wives, then to husbands.

Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behaviour of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behaviour.  

(1 Peter 3:1-2)

Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honour on the woman as the weaker sex,[1] since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7-8)

In 1 Peter 3:1-2 the aim is to win the unbelieving husband and to do this by being a submissive wife. Submissive does not mean doing what one is told and never having any personal input – though this could be concluded by looking at these passages in isolation. It means putting the interests of another before one’s own. The wife hopes to win over her husband by her behaviour, so that he will become a believer. The same hope exists in 1 Corinthians 7. She will be the prime contact, and not only will he (hopefully) see what a considerate wife he has now that she has become a believer, but he will learn what Christianity is about by what she says to him. This is only common sense. To suggest that she says nothing about her faith because she is submissive would not be a sensible conclusion. Nor would it be sensible to assume that she can encourage him to follow Christ until he submits to Christ in baptism and thereafter she is allowed no more spiritual input into the marriage. By submitting to her husband, the wife seeks his highest good, spiritually as well as materially. Especially spiritually, so this requires positive input in Christian understanding and activity too. The more spiritual understanding she can develop in herself and encourage in her husband, the better the marriage will be. Both husband and wife should put the maximum possible spiritual input into their marriage and family: again, “…whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Paul refers to “one flesh” in Ephesians 5:31. If we go back to Genesis, it is partnership that is planned by God. Both are put in charge, and the point about Eve being created from man’s side is that she is a human being like himself. She was created for partnership because “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). The man and woman are to complement each other. No domination of one over the other is taught or implied, despite the ingenuity with which this is sometimes inserted into the account.

Genesis 3:16 (“... he shall rule over you”) is often quoted as the grounds for a husband to rule his wife, and is misapplied as though it were an instruction, along with deductions that Eve’s mistake was to rule over Adam. But it is a deduction, not the direct teaching of the text, and one that is not made elsewhere in the Bible. To justify dominating behaviour on the basis of things going wrong is like saying that the sinful consequences of disobedience to God are what God desires! We should do as Jesus did and consider what God wanted “from the beginning” (Matthew 19:4), and take our practice from that.

It is the failure to treat women according to this fashion which has led to men dominating women and husbands dominating wives. Paul spoke to a culture with this attitude. Let us not seek to use Paul’s improvement of the situation to try to clamp down on the women whom Paul and Jesus set free. It is easy to misuse the Bible to make it say things not intended for us – like slave owners did to justify slavery until recently, like Augustine and many church leaders over the centuries have done to restrict the position of women, like white racists have done towards people of different skin colour. Such interpretations tell us more about the people who make them than anything to do with Bible teaching.

In the modern world, boys and girls receive the same education – or are supposed to according to good educational practice. Discrimination against girls was often widespread in the past, if unofficial, but this has largely been corrected. Girls are encouraged to use their minds, skills and voices, as are boys. This is the reality of the situation in modern culture, and sensible and sensitive applications of the principle of mutual submission, mutual service in Christ, is the key to happy relationships.

Practical Issues

Let us consider practical issues in two areas: Marriage, and the Ecclesia.

(1) Marriage

Which is a better way to proceed? By partnership, or by male leadership?

It is sometimes suggested that the latter is better, because someone is needed to make decisions, or at least, a final decision. Perhaps some couples feel happy with this. The idea could be drawn from Numbers 30 where husbands can overrule a wife’s vow, but there is no suggestion of this in the New Testament. It is not what Paul means when he talks about the head of the wife is the husband. Husbands are never encouraged to rule their wives; they are instructed to love and serve them. Therefore mutual agreement is needed whether on minor or major issues. In some areas the husband may have more experience or a greater understanding; the wife may have in others. There needs to be discussion and prayer over matters on which they disagree. If a husband takes any decision against the wishes of his wife, he is not being head according to the New Testament descriptions. He also thereby fails to recognise Christ as his head, for Christ’s teaching is to be applied: “... in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).

The husband is head of the wife only in the sense that Christ is towards the church. He is not head in any dominating, worldly sense.

(2) The Ecclesia

It is very notable that in 1 Corinthians 11 the husband is to honour his head, Christ, and the wife to take care not to dishonour her head, her husband. As far as ecclesial activity is concerned, both husband and wife pray and prophesy. No restriction is placed on these activities either for male or female.

We observe the same in 1 Corinthians 14. Paul addresses the brothers and sisters, and encourages them all to take an active, speaking, part in the meetings:

What then, brethren (adelphoi = brothers and sisters)? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification.  (1 Corinthians 14:26)

The activities need to be done in an orderly manner, which means speaking in intelligible language, and speaking one at a time. The restrictive verses in 34-35 can be explained in several ways, but need to be seen in the context of the rest of 1 Corinthians 14 where both brothers and sisters speak acceptably. Where speaking is unhelpful (speaking in a ‘tongue’ with no one to interpret, verse 28), disruptive (as when several prophets speak at the same time, verse 30) or women chattering or interrupting with questions (by one interpretation of verses 34-35) they are told to keep silent. In this, they need to “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). It is disruptive behaviour which is disallowed. Both men and women are encouraged by Paul to speak to edify the brothers and sisters:

 … you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged.                                                                        (1 Corinthians 14:31)

Paul’s aim, in the ecclesia as in marriage, is partnership. Attempts to silence sisters in the ecclesia on the basis that only brothers should rule or speak or make decisions are based on a selective reading of the Bible. They fail to read the ancient context adequately and substitute standards of the secular world instead of biblical ones. The New Testament several times lists ecclesial activities, as in 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4 and Romans 12. These activities are not defined in terms of male or female. We are “the body of Christ and individually members of it”, and “if one member is honoured, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:27, 26).

Being head is a position of service, and service is submission to others. As Jesus’ example shows, there is nothing passive about submission:

 “... let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. … I am among you as one who serves.” (Luke 22:26-27)

Submission, acting as a servant, is personally chosen as part of following Christ. It comes from the heart; it is not something that can be imposed on anyone by others.

May we follow Christ’s example in all our relationships.