Appendix 3: One To One Preaching
Do the role play in pairs. Try to imagine the body language / mannerism of each speaker. What were the problems in the first one, and the reasons why a rapport was built up in the second one? Notice how in the second dialogue, M. always repeats C.’s words and ideas.
Dialogue 1
Missionary: Err, good morning, I’m Duncan Heaster from the Christian Fellowship. It’s great to see you! [C looks confused]. It’s great that you’re so interested in the Bible, so I’ve just come to see you to talk to you about all the wonderful truths which there are there!
Contact: Sorry, who are you from?
M: Well, the Christian Fellowship, you know, the people who’ve been writing to you about the Bible.
C: OK, come in, I’m a bit busy at the moment but come in.
M: Thanks!
M doesn’t take his shoes off. Walks in to the hallway, looks around at everything.
C: Please take a seat. Would you like something to drink? I’m sorry my English isn’t very good.
M: No, no, I’m fine. And your English is excellent!! Much better than my [Mongolian]! I can just about say ‘hello’! No, we’ll be fine, we just want to talk about the Bible don’t we!
C: [Sitting on the corner of the sofa] Which town are you from in England?
M: London. There are quite a few ecclesias in London, and I’m from one called Thornton Heath. We’re about 30 members, a nice group really.
C: London? I’ve always wanted to go there! I have a friend who went there, she loved it. She sent me a postcard, you can see it here on the wall.
M [not looking at it]: Yes, that’s nice. Do you have a Bible?
C: Umm...somewhere.
M: [Looking at her as if expecting her to run and get it]. Well, do you have any questions about the things you’ve studied on the course?
C: Err...well yes, I always have questions about the Bible, but...err...I’d need to prepare them. I find it all very complicated.
M: Well OK, don’t be afraid to write them to me any time. You know, I really love answering questions from students about the Bible.
C: So you deal with university students, yes?
M: No, no, I mean people like you who are out students doing the course. If we just let the Bible explain itself to us, most of the questions are really quite simple. Just read the Bible and let us direct you to the right passages, and it all explains itself. Even very simple people can understand the Truth. The Truth is really quite simple. I know a lot of people who have found the Truth from our course, actually there are over 1500 of our people baptized in Eastern Europe! Well, err, you don’t have a Bible, so..
C: Well I do have one somewhere, but...
M: No matter, I have mine here.
C: Oh! What a lovely Bible! And all those little notes in it!
M: OK, if you like to take it and have a look at Galatians 3:16.
C: Is this a modern translation? I don’t think I’ve seen an English Bible before!
M: It’s an NIV, OK, Galatians is....just here, let me show you. There we are! OK, would you like to read it?
C: Read it?
M: Yes that’s right! Read it out loud.
[C reads, stumbling].
M: Great! You read very well! OK, you see, Jesus Christ was the son promised to Abraham, that’s what it says, is that clear? OK, now if you like to read verse 8, it says that this is actually the Gospel preached to Abraham
C: Please, let me get you some tea! I know Englishmen like their tea! I have some Lipton, actually.
M: OK you’re very kind, maybe later, I just want to explain that the seed...
Dialogue 2
Missionary: [Smiles, takes a step backward]. Hello, I’m Duncan, the person you have been writing to in England. I know this isn’t the best time to call, but I was in the area so I couldn’t resist just calling round.
Contact: Oh...Duncan? The one, about the Bible?
M: Yes, but I do feel bad just calling on you like this. I just wanted to at least say hello.
C: Oh what a surprise! Please do come in!
M: Are you sure it really is convenient?
C: Yes, of course! Please come in. [M takes shoes off].
C: Oh don’t worry about shoes! Would you like something to drink?
M: Yes, that would be great. But just something cold, thanks.
[He sits for 1 minute while she brings him the drink]
C: Which town are you from in England?
M: London, the South East part of it.
C: London! I’ve always wanted to go there! I have a friend who went there, she loved it. She sent me a postcard, you can see it here on the wall.
M: Really? I’m glad your friend loved it when she went to London. You know, I saw a postcard the other day that said just ‘I love London!’ and I thought ‘Well, I’m glad somebody does!’. [M looks at the postcard]. Well it’s years since I was at the Houses of Parliament. I don’t have much interest in it in some ways.
C: But! How can you not love London if you are from there?!
M: Well, I did used to feel differently about it all. But now, it doesn’t mean so much.
C: What do you mean? I’d love to be from London!
M: Yes, I know what you mean. But the more I read the Bible, the more I see all these things are just on the surface, what life is really all about isn’t thought about very deeply where I am from. It’s all bright colours and flashing lights, but there’s nothing deeper. Do you know what I mean?
C: You know, I do. I watch those things on the TV. and part of me would love to be there, but you know, part of me realises it is all just rubbish.
M: You know, I feel just the same! Isn’t that strange, we both see it the same way....part of me loves it, but part of me, and now the bigger part of me, sees that it’s just all rubbish. I think I’ve come to see it like that from just keeping on reading the Bible. I don’t know if you recall that bit in the lessons that talks about the big image that came crashing down with the little stone, but that tells me that...
C: [interrupting] Yes, I liked that bit, I think it was in lesson 2, that part about the dream that Pharaoh saw and David interpreted it.
M: Wow, that’s great you remembered it! The bit I like is when the little stone, which is like Jesus, comes to earth and breaks up all the image.
C: Yes, that’s like the Kingdom of God being set up isn’t it?
M: Yes! That’s just it! ....
C: You know Duncan, I just so love these ideas. But I really just don’t have a clue about reading the Bible for myself. I can read the lessons but not the Bible, I just get confused. I’d love someone to just read it to me and explain it.
M: You know, there was a time when I used to feel the same. I’m not saying I have all the clues now, either. Well, I’ve got a small Bible on me. It’s convenient, being so small. My mum gave it to me for a birthday present years ago. It’s too small to share, but can I just read you the bit about the image, and try to explain it? You’ll get the main ideas...
C: Your mum? How old is she?
M: My mum? 69. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. [searching for the place] OK, there it is. I’ll just read it....
One person plays the Christian preacher and the other plays the interested party.
Example:
Scenario: " You have met a woman who has three children and comes from a Catholic background. You are uncertain what has happened to her husband but he doesn't seem to be around. You struck up a conversation about the Bible in a public place (e.g. on the train, waiting in the doctor's surgery, at playgroup etc) but were cut short. She is interested in talking to you further but, upon establishing that you are a member of a denomination other than hers, she became a bit more nervous about your religion and motives. Her behaviour is friendly but slightly defensive. You would like to meet up with her again and continue the conversation" .
1. Consider how you would normally approach an interaction about the Bible with a Catholic - become aware of and note down any feelings you already have about this interaction - (e.g. reluctant, nervous, confident, defensive, annoyed, positive, anxious, uncertain etc etc).
2. Using the techniques we have just outlined, think about how would you now approach this interaction. Include in your notes how you would arrange a meeting, what you would say, how you would establish rapport, what you would discuss etc.
3. After making a rough plan, act out this role play with another person. Try and get into character as much as possible. Imagine what her feelings might be. Concentrate on empathy, compassion, rapport building.
4. Note down what worked in this interaction and what didn't. Did you feel like you had lost connection with her at any stage? Did the conversation 'succeed' - did you feel like you had made mistakes - what were they? Ask your partner how they felt about you during the interaction - note down any of their constructive comments and criticisms - e.g. ' I felt like you were being really pushy'.. 'I felt uncomfortable'.. 'I felt really comfortable' etc.
5. Now reverse the role play. This will give you a more full perspective
Situation #1:
Alison: " Hi Laurie, how's it going?" (broad unspecified opener which is helpful to facilitate communication)
Laurie: " OK I guess...I'm just very tired..."
Alison: " Oh!" " You are tired?" (non-verbal behaviour such as tilting the head or leaning forward with a brief remark can imply 'continue I'm listening')
Laurie: " Yes, I've just had a terrible week trying to do everything for my church."
Alison: " What church to you belong to?"
Laurie: " That small catholic church in Pottersfield...just at the corner of Main and Elm."
Alison: " Yes, I'm familiar with that church. I drive by it every day when I go to work. So what did you have to do that made you so tired?"
Laurie: " Well, it's a rather old congregation, that is, hardly any new members...there just aren't enough parishioners who are willing to do anything. So I do it and then the woman resent me for it!"
Alison: " So you're saying that the women resent you?" (clarifying to validate perception of the situation)
Laurie: " Yes I do...I think they're just jealous...I also spend a lot of time helping out our priest as well...with the cleaning of the church and washing all of the fine linen. They all speak so rudely to him and I don't...I try to be nice to everyone, you know!"
Alison: " Right. I can appreciate how it feels to try to be nice to others and then feel like they don't value your genuineness." (expressing acceptance)
Laurie: " Yeah well you were always kinda different...do you have such problems at your church?
Alison: " Well we don't have priests but I think we all tend to be guilty of not sharing the workload!" (laughter...)
Laurie: (laughing...) " You don't have priests?"
Alison: " No, we don’t have priests...we all share individual responsibility for learning about God through the study of His word the Bible. Do you read the Bible?"
Laurie: " Actually, I do...in our church we take turns reading a few verses from the Bible during the mass."
Alison: " That’s great that you do read the Bible! If you're interested I do have a kinda binder that helps to explain how to read the Bible effectively. I dunno if you’ll find it much good as a presentation but the content of what it says from the Bible is, well in my opinion, excellent"
Laurie: " Really? I never knew there was such a thing. What kind of things are contained in this binder?"
Alison: " Well just off the top of my head I think that there are various sections such as; how to use aides to help understand the written text, the books of the Bible, historical perspectives and so on...Would you be interested in having a copy of this binder?"
Laurie: " Sure, but can I pay you for it?"
Alison: " It's free...could I pop it over to your house sometime soon?"
Laurie: " Yes...how about tomorrow night?"
Alison: " That's fine...let's say around 7:00 p.m. and I'll bring some yummy
coffee-cake that I made just yesterday?"
Laurie: " Great! See you tomorrow."
Situation #2:
Michelle: " Hey Helen, get a look at this in the newspaper!" (calling out)
Helen: " What is it?"
Michelle: " It's today's horoscope...I'm going to be meeting my prince charming today!"
Helen: (without getting up from her workstation or looking up) " Yeah well I think that's a waste of time!"
Michelle: " What is? Meeting my prince or reading the horoscope?"
Helen: " Reading the horoscope...it's nothing but a quick fix of nothing
that supposed to validate who you are and make you feel good as a person and
somehow justify what is or isn't going to happen to you."
Michelle: " So what! It's harmless and it's fun! You're not against having fun are you?"
Helen: " It's not a matter of having fun, it's doing what God would like you to do"
Michelle: " What! God is against horoscopes? That's absurd...isn't He the God of love and understanding and beauty? Didn't He create the stars and moon and planets? And anyways, the heavens exert a force on nature so it's obvious that we are influenced by the stars..."
Helen: " It's not a matter of what He created or whether or not creation itself has an influence on us...it's a matter of believing in a medium outside of God Himself." (angry tone...face flushed)
Michelle: " What! Now God is going to control how I think? What planet are you from?" (laughing)
Helen: " Forget it..."
Michelle: " Yeah, I'd better get my work done so I have time for my prince...."
Situation #3:
Kate: " Hi Tom, I see you're back from your trip...where did you go again?"
Tom: " To St.Anne's...there was a week's conference...JW members from all over the world were there...I met up with some long-time friends...it was great...but, we really didn't have anytime to look around the city!"
Kate: " Was the weather nice?"
Tom: " Actually it rained a lot but we were indoors all the time so I guess that was OK..."
Kate: " I'm glad you had a nice time."
