3.3 Repentance
Here again the believer has a lot of advantages over the unbeliever.
Stuck in an airline lounge for a while, I skim read George Best’s autobiography
The Good, The Bad And The Bubbly. In it he chronicles his battles
with alcohol, frequently making the point that despite wealth and fame,
or perhaps exactly because of them, he had no real motivation to quit
the bottle. This lack of motivation is what stops so many alcoholics from
quitting. Their fear of the consequences of their last drunken bout may
motivate some alcoholics, but only for a limited time. For us, the motivation
is not merely selfish- that we wish for a happier family or economic life,
etc.- but we have a duty towards God. We recognize that alcoholism is
a sin. It is not God’s will. Disease it may be, definable it may be in
physical and psychological terms, even understandable as it may be given
a person’s path in life...but all the same, it’s a sin. And we love God;
for He loves us, loves us and loved us more than we will ever perceive,
even throughout the ages of eternity that surely await us. We therefore
want to live as He would have us live; we seek to live the Kingdom life
right now. We earnestly seek to be like the One who loved us to the end,
who laid down His life for us His friends. For the alcoholic believer,
this involves quitting alcohol. We want to be like Him, to live and be
and perceive as He did and does.
Repenting of alcoholism is vital for the alcoholic. Drunkards will not
inherit the Kingdom; so say 1 Cor. 6:10 and Gal. 5:21. Does this mean
that no alcoholic who can’t quit will be there? No. On what basis, then,
will they be there? Because they are repentant. They have a state of mind
that turns back time and again from what they have done. It’s easy to
point the finger at alcoholics. Theirs is a sin that is open and goes
before them to judgment. But we are all, sadly, habitual sinners. We sin,
repent, and do the same again. We despair. We hate the sin. We cling on
to Paul’s words in Romans 7:15-25 and take comfort, that this is us. Yet
we read further into Romans 8 and see that the spirit of new life in Jesus
has set us free from the apparently inevitable law of sin within us. We
wonder yet further at our repeated failures. And we cling on to grace
and a genuine, totally genuine, hatred of the sin we commit and a fervent
desire to overcome. And we look forward with joy to the salvation of the
Kingdom. And little by little, we succeed in changing. Now this is what
God is asking of the alcoholic brother or sister, as a bare minimum. For
those living with alcoholics, you have the same tendency which we all
have- to max out on the more public sins of others, within a smug complacency
with ourselves whose sins are not so open, and yet just as habitual. Realize
your tendency to self-righteousness, write down and analyze your habitual
sins. And recognize that your alcoholic family member will be very sensitive
to any self-righteous or perceived hypocrisy in you. You want to love
them, with a Biblical love, into the better way. Hypocritical condemnation
isn’t the way to do this. Point out to the alcoholic that drunkenness
is listed along with idolatry, strife, wrath, jealousy, factionism, over
eating as a sin that will exclude from the Kingdom (Gal. 5:19-21)- and
you too are sometimes factious, wrathful, self-indulgent, jealous, idolatrous,
covetous etc. It’s as well to admit this up front, because alcoholics
are well known for being penetratingly critical of those around them.
The difference with alcoholism as opposed to occasional drunkenness is
that it is a sinful way of life, continually repeated as part of
life. But you, too (and many others in the brotherhood) are committing
sins which the more you commit them, are on the brink of leading
you into a similarly sinful way of life. This is where living with
an alcoholic is used by the Lord to inspire a true humility and
self-knowledge in the lives of those around him. What’s sinful about
alcoholism is not simply that we are ingesting chemicals [ethyl
alcohol] in volumes which the Bible proscribes. What’s wrong with
it is the lying, the damage to self and others, harm to the body
by a selfish habit, the distortion of the image of God, the failure
to even try to live up to the wonderful intention God has for us,
the studied lack of love to oneself and one’s neighbour. Yet every
one of those sins is habitually repeated in the lives of many Christians.
This doesn’t justify alcoholism, but I submit this point needs to
be conceded to the alcoholic. We’re not ganging up on the alcoholic.
We’re all battlers against sin. Nobody is too far from God to be
helped. This needs stressing time and again. The Lord Jesus took
pleasure in addressing Himself to the very lowest of society in
first century Palestine.
The Only Judge
We must not come over to the alcoholic as judges, eagerly waiting to
punish. Love must evidently be our motive. And we seek to inspire the
life of love in the alcoholic; for what is essentially wrong with alcoholism
is not merely breaking commandments but most fundamentally, a lack of
love. When facing the woman taken in adultery, the Lord points out to
her accusers that they too are sinners, to the point that they cannot
condemn her. They leave the scene, one by one. And then the Lord tells
her to sin no more (Jn. 8:3-11). He perhaps did this entirely for her
benefit rather than theirs. Maybe He sensed her deep feeling of unfairness,
injustice, and awareness of the hypocrisy of others. Perhaps she had slept
with every one of those self-righteous accusers; or at least, she was
aware of their own moral failures. But the Lord didn’t want that to hinder
her from repenting. The other point of that incident is that the Lord
alone has the power to condemn. He didn’t have to say any words; His self-evident
perfection convicted her of her sin. If the family of the alcoholic start
condemning, they inevitably run the risk of the alcoholic seething with
resentment at their hypocrisy. There needs to be an openness about our
own serious failings when counselling the alcoholic. There needs to be
real confrontation – with real consequences, if no change is forthcoming.
And a deep, prayerful resort to what Alcoholics Anonymous would call ‘a
higher power’- known to us as the peerless, matchless example of the human,
perfect Jesus. The Lord told the accusing men to let he that was without
sin condemn her- and He clearly had in mind Himself, the only One without
sin. He was asking them to leave all judgment in the sense of condemnation
to Him- and He did not condemn her. He forgave her and exhorted her to
sin no more.
Repentance In Practice
I submit that repentance needs to be verbalized- it must be “confessed”
(1 Jn. 1:9), which implies a verbal or written statement of the issues.
It’s like praying or Bible reading out loud; it makes our minds think
not quite so fast. We need to get to grips with all the aspects of our
sin. We must face it, in all the ugliness of what we have done. The alcoholic
who wants to quit needs to sit down sober, and write out a list of all
the people he or she has sinned against, and all the ways and occasions
that he or she can remember where alcohol has led them into sin. They
should write out how much they have spent on alcohol. And encourage them
to carry these jottings with them, in a shirt of trouser pocket, along
with a list of all the reasons they want to quit alcohol. And encourage
them to read it throughout the day. They’ll be helped in doing this by
someone close to them shocking them by showing them the list they have
drawn up about themselves, perhaps relating to weaknesses other than alcohol.
Especially does the alcoholic need to write at the top of the piece of
paper, in large, carefully and slowly written letters: “I am a liar”.
This is so crucial to their recovery [cf. Steps 4-9 in the AA recovery
program].
Believing that we have been forgiven is perhaps the greatest challenge
to the faith of any of us; and it’s especially hard for the alcoholic
believer, whose faith is at low ebb anyway. The frankness of the forgiveness
available (Lk. 7:42), the utter purity and totality of God’s grace (Eph.
2:8,9)- these things need to be discussed with the alcoholic. Perhaps
try to get over to them the amazing logic of Romans 8- if God justifies
us, then nobody can bring anything against us. If so much was achieved
by the Lord’s death, how much more by His resurrection and new life, which
He wishes to share with us? If God did not spare even His own Son, how
much more is He willing to give us literally anything else? Where sin
has increased, grace increases the more, and God is yet more glorified
(Rom. 5:20). He turns the Valley of Achor, symbol of Israel’s shameful
departure from God, into a door of hope, where one day Israel shall sing
as in the days when she came up out of Egypt (Hos. 2:14,15). The promise
to clean us from all unrighteousness is real and meaningful (1 Jn. 1:9).
Repentance is inspired by what we could loosely call fellowship. It is
the example of others that inspires in practice, no matter how finely
we grasp the issues that have come between God and ourselves. There are
many Christians who have fought and won against alcohol; and many families
who can bear testimony in a way which will he helpful to the person who
is really and sincerely striving for mastery. And there are many others
still fighting the battle. You can get in touch with such by sending an
e-mail to christianalcoholics@carelinks.net.
We assure you of total, utter confidentiality. A.A. teaches that one access
to a power outside of yourself is through meeting with others fighting
the same battle, and taking strength from them. And for some, this works.
But think of the even greater power which there ought to be in taking
strength from the body of Christ! Meaningful fellowship with the alcoholic
is required. Notice how the Lord fellowshipped with sinners in order to
bring them to Him. Contrary to what we might expect, they didn’t reason
that the fact He was willing to share table fellowship with them meant
they were OK in His books. His very grace and the insistent, intrusive
effect of His personal holiness and gracious acceptance inspired them
to change. Sadly many Christian groups have been tainted with the “guilt
by association” complex, whereby someone like an alcoholic is not to be
associated with lest we be defiled. But this is not the pattern of the
Lord’s dealings with us. The wounded man rescued by the Samaritan is so
like all of us, stricken by sin and left half dead and naked on the street.
Yet the image of the man lying there is very much reminiscent of the alcoholic,
stripped and robbed by the ‘robbers’ of social drinking, alcohol advertisements
etc. Yet the Samaritan [= Jesus] took him to the inn, and arranged for
his care until He returned. The inn is surely the ecclesia; there we find
spiritual strengthening and healing of our condition. And this will go
on until the Lord returns.
Each member of the body, be they alcoholic or not, contributes to the
overall strength and health of the body. No member can say they
do not need the others. The body “makes increase of itself” and
builds itself up in love, strengthened by the nourishment mediated
by the other members (Eph. 4:16). There is therefore strength
and power from outside of ourselves within the body of Christ. Tragically,
the body of believers is perceived by many alcoholics and their
carers to be judgmental, shaming, not understanding etc. Yet the
Scriptures are in the end true; there is, yes there really is,
strength, power and health to be taken from the body of Christ.
This is where if total confidentiality is observed, there
is great strength to be found in sharing one’s alcohol-related problems
with others within the body. What we all need is a mighty tough
rollicking about the sin of gossip, and the sin of being judgmental.
These two communal sins of the Christian church stop us from being
the power of good, even the cutting edge in this generation, which
we so easily could be.
