Personal Testimony

Now some time after my baptism and looking at myself, I find myself looking at something deep within me. I am discovering an "unhealthy fear of the Lord" within me. So afraid to do his will and do the right thing, to conform my life to His will and His standards while not allowing His love and grace to cover, and expecting others to conform to "MY" will or standards. An unacceptance of His gift if you will. To put it in a term, "legalism", too blind to see the freedom and liberty we have been given. I am being set free in this area and am experiencing a new joy and peace in my heart.

There must be certain things that are "yea” and “amen". If we just hold to the belief that "all truth is relative" then my truth is different than yours and no one can agree on anything. Yet, there are standards that we are expected to uphold. It may be different for each individual now as we are ALL in a different place in our growth and maturity in the things of God.

The world we live in is really no different than what it was back in Yahshua's day. All kinds of philosophy and ideas about things mudding up the waters, and mankind still trying to become gods in the process. In my opinion our dilemma is still the same. It all points to latent fears and unbelief in God's word. We protect ourselves by hiding behind legalism and self-imposed standards and try to force others to conform to our will. It is a vicious cycle that has perpetuated throughout the ages. The question is "are we going to believe the word of God or not?" Just because we have experiences does not make the word of God null and void. Yes, we do not know everything about the word, yes we will not all come to the full understandings of things until the Kingdom comes. But one thing we do know for certain is that it is our responsibility to regard one another more than our selves, to love our neighbour as ourselves. Phil 4:7-8 7 "And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things".

So, I am learning that ‘I am a sinner’ I do not deserve His mercy and grace, but He has given it to me anyway. I cannot please Him by my outward works, or justify my Christianity by not doing certain things or eating certain meats, or partaking of certain symbols or traditions. But, the slippery slope is always beckoning to us, and therefore we all have a conscience given by God to help us here. We all will be judged according to the law written on OUR (personal) hearts (Rom 2:14-16). There are standards and things we all must find and conform our lives to. It is not my responsibility to make anyone live according to my standard. The standard is the Word of God. The Law of love is Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever the higher standard, 1 Cor 13. If we have not love we have nothing. I cannot compromise the law in my heart (this is my conscience before my Judge) however, for the sake of another, to win another to salvation I can, (I am learning to) because my standard is not God's standard. The question is "are we willing to die to self for the sake of another?" In a sense, lay down our life for another? Yahshua came to lead sinners to repentance. He ate with tax collectors and sinners. The downtrodden, dirty filthy refuse of humanity He died for. All I know is that ‘my’ righteousness has not exceeded that of the Scribes and Pharisees. If Yahshua did these things, should we not do the same? He said "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" Matt 5:48 .

Yet I am sure He did not sit there amongst these wretched people and point the haughty finger of judgement, making himself to be better than them. But, we do know that He did not sin. He sat with sinners but did not do their deeds. He knew where the line was drawn in the sand, He did not cross it. The same should be for us. There are standards, there are doctrines on which we must be staunch. Truth is not relative, but that should not become the god we serve.

Bro. Scott Ketelsen (Vancouver Ecclesia, USA)